Today morning as I was riding a cab on my way to office, the very familiar feeling of loneliness caught me. Since the time I moved to Ho Chi Minh City I have been grumpier and have become emotionally fragile. I miss my family and friends I miss my manila devotee family, and I keep thinking about what I might have done (wrong?) to deserve living away from my loved ones. Weekdays are ok as I spend most of my time in office, weekends are scary as I have LOT of free time and nothing much to besides cooking, chanting and eating, and when I finish doing them… I start thinking of all the good things that I am missing and then tears roll down…. And they keep flowing (I wish someday I can cry like this when I chant my rounds…).
As the driver was driving through the busy morning traffic, I started to miss home and just as the tears were about to flow out, I controlled them in. and then I decided that I am not gonna cry anymore, I am not gonna complain, and fight with Krsna anymore, if this is what and where I have to be then let it be so. Enough of suckling, I am gonna be or will atleast try and be happy, no matter where I am or what I am doing. Confucius, once said “if rape’s inevitable, sit back, relax and enjoy it”, that’s what I will do, I will be happy wherever I am…..
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